As a pastor’s wife and Bible teacher, Cindi’s passion is to help women find strength for the soul through a deeper intimacy with Christ. For some free resources and other materials to strengthen your marriage and your soul, see Chances are your husband dreams of the “wild woman” within you. Let your inner tigress come out now and then and show him he’s still the one.
Relationships can sometimes hit a rough patch where one partner may feel distant or uninterested. If you are looking to reignite the spark and make your partner want you again, there are several strategies you can try.
Communicate Openly
The stakes are much lower today, but the need to feel useful remains deeply rooted in male biology. If a man doesn’t feel useful and needed in his relationship, he constantly feels like something is missing. These lingering doubts prevent him from fully committing and eventually cause him to go cold, emotionally pull away, or even be unfaithful. Make an effort to hug and kiss him hello and goodbye, hold his hand when you’re out walking together or give him a massage after a long day at work.
And poke fun (in a kind, loving way, obvi) at both them and yourself, in order to keep things light—just like you did during the early days. Bust marriage monotony by lighting a fire under your typical conversations. You do not need another date night that involves discussing the kids from the minute you walk out the door until the minute you pay the sitter. You do not need another date night that involves periodic check-ins with your work email. Dozens of studies have found that one of the best ways to bust a rut is by injecting some novelty into your usual routine.
Try to inject a little bit of playful flirtation into your everyday interactions. The more you can get him thinking about you in a sexual way, the more he’ll be attracted to you. Now, I’m not saying that you need to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.
Maybe you’re even wondering if you’re falling out of love. Get out your calendars and schedule weekly couple time for the next month in the same way you would schedule other appointments. It is not uncommon for couples to experience periods of waxing and waning sexual frequency. You may be doing a lot to develop yourself, and they may be at a standstill. However, neither silently sitting on your anger or building a case and blowing up are the best strategies to get relief and feel closer to your partner. Instead, you may want to open up to a friend or therapist about some of your angrier, more cynical, or irrational reactions.
Couples counseling can be a great resource when dealing with trust issues, particularly those involving infidelity. A counselor can offer an unbiased view of you relationship and help both partners work through underlying issues. If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move. But talking about the details of an encounter can cause further pain that isn’t very productive.
Effective communication is key in any relationship. Take the time to sit down with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about how you both are feeling. Listen to their concerns and express your own in a calm and respectful manner.
Show Appreciation
Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and wanted. Show them that you care by complimenting them, thanking them for things they do, and expressing gratitude for their presence in your life.
Spice Things Up
If your relationship has become routine, consider trying new activities together or adding some excitement to your everyday life. Plan a surprise date night, take a weekend getaway, or explore a new hobby as a couple.
Focus on Yourself
In order to make your partner want you again, it’s important to focus on yourself and your own well-being. Take care of your physical and emotional health, pursue your passions, and strive to be the best version of yourself.
Seek Professional Help
If you are struggling to reconnect with your partner, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist. A professional can provide valuable insights and tools to improve communication, strengthen your bond, and reignite the passion in your relationship.
By implementing these strategies and putting in the effort to improve your relationship, you can make your partner want you again and strengthen your connection for the long term.
