Breaking up with someone can be incredibly difficult, especially if you still have feelings for them. If you’re looking to rekindle the flame with your ex and get them to like you again, here are some tips to help you out.
Just imagine your ex popping up on your timeline and they’ve just posted something with a new friend. Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I still love my ex?” It isn’t uncommon to still love and have strong feelings for your ex-spouse or partner. Love is often a rollercoaster of emotions and instances that no one can either predict or control.
Give Them Space
While, depending on the circumstances, a friendship may eventually be possible, being friends can’t happen in a genuine way until you have healed through most if not all of the pain, which takes time. Remember, though, that people’s reasons for breaking up in the first place differ. Breaking up because of a mismatch in habits or goals, for example, is different from breaking up because of parental disapproval or a move that would have made the relationship long-distance. Taking advantage of an exciting occasion in their life might leave you with an opportunity to reconnect and share what you’re feeling about them and the breakup. If they agree to meet up, stay open and intentional about celebrating them for whatever is going on in their life — and let the rest happen naturally. Regardless of that reason, it’s easy to look back on a relationship with rose-colored glasses when you’re far removed from the events that transpired, so be sure to examine the situation truthfully.
The more you return to the present (versus wandering off to the painful past or uncertain future), the more you position yourself to make better decisions in the present. You may want to ascertain whether he is engaging in secretive text conversations with other women, maintaining active profiles on dating platforms like Tinder, or concealing a criminal history. Another way to tell him you are apologetic for your part in the demise of your relationship. Just let him know that you don’t expect anything in return; you just wanted him to know this information. This comment may intrigue him, especially if you were in the wrong. Your ex may not want to get back together right away, but he’ll probably enjoy hearing what you have to say on the subject.
One of the most important things you can do after a breakup is to give your ex some space. Constantly bombarding them with texts or calls will only push them further away. Give them time to process their emotions and reflect on the relationship.
Often lack of clear communication can drive wedges between partners leading them astray. It’s often a series of events, misunderstandings, or unmet expectations that lead to the final rupture. So, if you’re keen on winning back your ex, it’s crucial to understand what led to the breakup. Also, rather than rehashing the negatives for too long, get to a point where you apologize for your part in the breakup.
So consider sending a snap of you two or a place you went to together, and say something like “Just found this in my photos” or “This was such a good day”. It always needs to be appropriate given the circumstances and your relationship. Or maybe it would have been your anniversary, and so you send something like “We had our first date 6 months ago today”. Sending a very casual message to test the water with your ex only works if it’s been long enough.
Not only have you both changed as people, your feelings for each other may have shifted or there might even be somebody new in the picture. You have accepted the breakup and are ready to move on, but you’re also honest that you still care about your ex. Your neediness has receded, you’ve rebuilt social networks and you’re improving your mental health and personal state. Getting back in close relationships with friends and family was incredibly good for me. I went through the pain of the breakup process for real, I didn’t rush it and I learned to look after myself and focus on my own integrity.
Work on Yourself
Take this time to focus on yourself and work on becoming the best version of yourself. Hit the gym, pick up a new hobby, or learn a new skill. Showing your ex that you are independent and thriving on your own will make you more attractive to them.
Communication is Key
Once you’ve given your ex some space and worked on yourself, it’s important to communicate with them. Be honest about your feelings and let them know that you still care about them. Keep the lines of communication open and listen to what they have to say.
Show Genuine Interest
Take the time to show your ex that you are genuinely interested in them. Ask them about their day, their interests, and their goals. Show them that you care about their well-being and want to support them in any way you can.
Be Patient
Rebuilding a relationship takes time and patience. Don’t rush things or try to force your ex to like you again. Allow the relationship to develop naturally and be patient as you navigate through the ups and downs of getting back together.
By following these tips and being patient and understanding, you may just be able to get your ex to like you again. Remember to stay true to yourself and keep an open mind as you work towards rebuilding your relationship.
