Eventually, couples must come to terms with love as a conscious decision. If a couple doesn’t ever come to this stage, it’s possible that their relationship will be more heavily based on lust or emotion. Saying that love is a choice means that you must show it through your actions and by choosing that person day in and day out. And while that sounds less than romantic, nobody gets married and ever plans on getting a divorce–but every marriage is headed for both happy and hard times. According to family counselor and bestselling author Gary Smalley, good marriages are no accident. And deciding to love–in the practical ways outlined here–can result in relationships that are tougher than those tough times.
Her husband gave the best of his week to his thriving business, and she and the children were left with emotional left-overs on the weekends. All the family responsibilities for raising four youngsters fell on her shoulders, and she was exhausted from putting out fires between her husband and the children. These societal factors don’t just influence who we choose to love – but also how we express that love and navigate relationship challenges. Consider how media shapes our ideas about romantic love.
For example, choosing to lean in and work through conflict with your partner may show that you are choosing to love rather than abandon the connection. While the intensity of your feelings toward your partner may change over time, you can still choose to love that person day after day. You don’t just fall in love or get into love, you decide to be in love.
Look deeply into yourself, your relationship, and your loved one’s eyes and truly see where the two of you are as a couple. Scientists believe love is a DNA thing, where body chemistries connect through pheromones and such. A doctor once told me that love is all biochemistry, and we have no choice in it. Sometimes the pull is so strong, we stay in relationships that are unhealthy, and even though we know it, we can’t seem to make ourselves leave. I see too many couples take their relationships for granted. They forget the dreams they had and the plans they made.
“The strongest tip to actively choose love is to choose to look at the gratitude in a relationship,” says Del Hierro. It’s OK if you don’t know how to choose love at first. There are simple strategies you can immediately apply to show love is a choice — your choice. When some talk about love being a choice, and not a feeling, they may be referring to the transition between the crisis phase and the deep attachment stage. Deborah is also a published author with a children’s book series that tackles the challenges of everyday “firsts” that often cause anxiety in little ones.
When it comes to relationships, many people believe that love is solely based on feelings and emotions. However, love is a decision that requires conscious effort and commitment from both parties involved. It is not just about the butterflies in your stomach or the excitement of being with someone; it is about choosing to prioritize the well-being and happiness of your partner.
Turner was married to his wife Toni Turner for 43 years before she died in 2017 and Nist was married to husband Billy Nist for 42 years before he died in 2017. Turner, 72, and Nist, 70, married on live television in January with the season’s other elder contestants in attendance. It “did not identify any misconduct” by the force; however, the IOPC asked the Met to apologise to Flack’s family for not recording its reason for appealing against the original CPS decision. The Met said it referred a complaint from Caroline Flack’s family to the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC), which decided that the majority of the matters had been dealt with.
On the other hand, there are those who assert that love is indeed a choice, especially when it comes to maintaining long-term relationships. These sensations may occur because of a physical and chemical reaction in the brain when it is stimulated by a new relationship. Some individuals may refer to this as the “honeymoon phase” or “puppy love.” These more intense emotions often don’t last forever. If someone believes that these initial feelings are the only form of romantic love, they may become confused or upset when the feelings become less salient.
The Importance of Making the Choice to Love
In any relationship, there will be challenges and obstacles that may test the strength of your bond. This is where the decision to love becomes crucial. By making a conscious choice to love your partner, you are committing to working through difficult times together and finding solutions to any problems that arise.
The Difference Between Feelings and Actions
It is important to differentiate between feelings of love and actions that demonstrate love. While feelings may come and go, true love is shown through consistent actions and behaviors that reflect your commitment to your partner. By actively choosing to love each day, you are building a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
In conclusion, love is a decision that requires dedication, effort, and perseverance. By choosing to love your partner every day, you are creating a solid and enduring connection that can withstand any challenges that come your way.
