It can also be hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation. While you may think about them all the time, people who are infatuated rarely know the person they are obsessing over. More often than not, if you don’t know someone well but think you’re in love, you’re likely just in love with the idea of them that you’ve created in your mind. According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 “languages” that you can spot when you’re in love.
Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can be difficult to understand. Many people struggle to determine whether what they are feeling is genuine love or something else. Here are some signs that may indicate you have strong feelings for someone:
1. You Put Their Needs Before Your Own
There are other characteristics that will help you understand whether you’re really in love or not. However, there has to be enough time to really understand a person’s core essence, including the good, the bad, and the ugly things in their life. There’s actually a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love—and who they fall in love with.
One of the hallmarks of true love is selflessness. If you find yourself constantly prioritizing your partner’s happiness and well-being over your own, it could be a sign that you are in love with them.
“My definition of gratitude includes appreciating not just what your partner does but who they are as a person,” Gordon writes. “You’re not just thankful that your partner took out the trash—you’re thankful that you have a partner who is thoughtful enough to know you hate taking out the trash.” But it’s important that your needs are prioritized by your partner as well.
2. You Can’t Imagine Your Life Without Them
She found that most men and women reported recalling trivial things that their partners said and did, and they would also replay these moments in their heads. “I knew I was falling in love with my now-husband Jack when I found myself calling him every night, wanting to share every little detail about my day and wanting to know about his,” she says. That said, the most telling sign, according to Kang, is if you find yourself wanting to divulge as much as you can to your love interest, from a small win at work to your relationship history. It’s not always easy to know if that “can’t eat, can’t sleep” feeling is the real deal. Now, before you go and drop those three little words, scroll on to help determine whether or not you’re really, without-a-doubt, head-over-heels in love. Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and a professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland.
Even if they don’t reciprocate your emotions, you can move on with your life not wondering about missed opportunities and possible scenarios. Why you’re getting into a relationship in the first place is the first question you should evaluate. Answering this question will help you understand who you’re looking for. As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships. But what really transforms love into the deepest, purest version of itself is completely knowing the other person and loving them more for it.
It’s worth noting that people also put more time into their platonic relationships when separated. A 2017 study published in the journal EPJ Data Science found that people spend longer on the phone with someone when the time between their calls is increased, so it’s not just lovers who are affected by separation. As a romantic couple get to know each other, their own perceptions of self begin to merge, says DiDonato. “Because of this self-other overlap, individuals feel real pride for their partner’s achievements, see themselves more like their partner, and can mistake their partner’s characteristics for their own,” she says. On top of that, you may even start to dress or talk like your significant other. “We make time for what–or who–we love,” says Rachel DeAlto, the chief dating expert for Match (formerly known as Match.com).
They may believe they’ve fallen into a pattern of relationship maintenance without truly experiencing romantic love for the person—and yet, breaking up could seem extreme, difficult, and undesirable. Is this because you don’t love the person anymore and are just attached? For the purposes of this article, we’ll be discussing love between romantic partners. People with different sexualities or identities experience varying levels of attraction and may express romantic love differently, and all are valid. You might have a sudden thought to call them because you haven’t chatted in a few hours. Or, maybe, you go into a clothing store with the intention of buying something for yourself, and then end up buying something for your partner, too.
If the thought of being without this person fills you with a sense of emptiness or sadness, it’s likely that you have deep feelings for them. Love often involves a fear of losing the person who means so much to you.
3. You Feel a Deep Connection
Love goes beyond physical attraction and lust. When you truly love someone, you feel a deep emotional connection with them. You understand each other on a level that goes beyond words.
4. You Support Each Other Through Thick and Thin
True love involves supporting each other through the good times and the bad. If you find yourself standing by their side no matter what life throws at you, it’s a strong indication that your feelings run deep.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Know if It’s Love or Infatuation?
- Infatuation is often characterized by intense feelings that fade over time. Love, on the other hand, grows stronger with time and involves a deep emotional connection.
What Should I Do if I’m Unsure About My Feelings?
- If you’re unsure about your feelings, take some time to reflect on your emotions. Consider talking to a trusted friend or therapist for guidance.
In conclusion, knowing if you love someone can be a challenging process. It’s important to pay attention to your emotions and actions to determine the depth of your feelings. Love is a powerful and transformative force that can enrich your life in countless ways.
